If you don’t succeed the first time-or even after multiple attempts-it just means your body’s natural impulse is to keep anything from coming out of the urethra while you get busy. Just relax, enjoy the feelings, and if it happens, it happens.
You know how people blame Disney movies for giving people unrealistic expectations about love? Well, I blame porn for giving me unrealistic expectations about sex. If porn were any indication of people’s everyday sex lives, we’d all be firing off liquid streams of erotic bliss at every climax. Sorry, but no.
That said, the elusive sex sensation that is squirting isn’t entirely impossible. Apparently, for some women, it does come naturally. But for others, it may be possible to learn. Meaning, yes, you could make yourself squirt during sex.
First, a little refresher on what squirting actually is: While there’s still a lot of debate, Madeleine Castellanos, MD, notes that “squirting appears to be fluid that’s retained in the bladder that’s released either when a woman has an orgasm or other times.” This is thought to involve the Skene’s glands-two structures located near the end of the urethra that can produce fluid with G-spot stimulation.
As for what this actually looks like…it’s probably not what you think. “‘Squirting’ is a bit of a misnomer, as the fluid isn’t always expelled as a squirt,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast. “It might be a drip, dribble, or gush.” Some people “can feel the liquid being pushed out, but in many cases, you don’t even notice it until you get up and see the wet Ulust cos Ã¨ spot beneath you,” O’Reilly adds. The actual fluid that comes out can be “milky or clear” and it can feel and look like you peed yourself, says sex therapist Debra Laino, DHS. The actual volume can vary, too. “Some women will have more fluid; others less depending on their body, as well as depending on the experience,” Laino says.
But why the hype? Dr. Castellanos notes that it can feel pretty effing fantastic. In fact, one study showed nearly 80 percent of women who’ve experienced squirting said it improved their sex lives. “The urethra has all these nerve endings in it, as anybody who’s ever had a UTI can attest,” she explains. “It’s very sensitive. So when you get this rush of fluid going through, at the same time you’re having an orgasm or you’re getting sexual stimulation…that can be a very pleasurable experience.”
That said, “a lot of people think this is the pinnacle of orgasm. and if you haven’t done it, your orgasms are less-than-I don’t agree with that,” Dr. Castellanos says. “For some people, squirting adds to the orgasm, and for other people, it does nothing or it detracts from it. It’s not the same for everybody.” No shame either way.
Of course, you’ll never know until you try. So, if you’re still curious about making yourself squirt, here’s an expert-informed step-by-step guide to attempting your first time.
1. Get your bed ready. just in case.
If you do succeed in squirting, things may get a tad messy. So, Dr. Castellanos recommends taking precautions if you’re worried about oversaturating your sheets.
Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of OrganicLoven, suggests the Liberator Fascinator Throw, which is made to soak up liquids and is softer than most towels.
2. Make sure you’re well hydrated.
To be fair, this hasn’t been researched or anything, but experts say it could help in theory. “Some people say that hydration facilitates sexual response including orgasm and squirting, but this is anecdotal,” O’Reilly says. “Overall, staying hydrated is good for your health, which can support sexual functioning.” There’s also this to consider, per Laino: “Dehydration can lead to more difficulty having an orgasm in general and can even make sex painful as well as having low energy for sex.”